Put on Your Patti LuPone Panties with Knight of Cups

This is a cross-post, which I do when I feel like I’ve written something that’s relevant to both Postmodern Witch and Croning. If you read the last installment of Croning, you know that I suggested drawing a Tarot card of the year as one alternative to making New Year’s resolutions. What I had to say about my own card of the year is totally relevant to crones, so… Here it is.

On January 2, I drew a card for 2025. Numerologically speaking, the universal card of the year is the Hermit. My card of the year is the one I drew just for me. (You can do it, too!)

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The card I drew for 2025 is Knight of Cups. I had just started shuffling when they leapt right out of the pack.

I’ve talked a lot of trash about this card over the years.

For a long time, I had a real problem with the Knights. I saw in them the boys of my youth and Knight of Cups was absolutely the worst. I saw them as someone with big ideas who never actually accomplishes anything. A creative soul who’s more invested in the idea of being an artist than actually doing the work. A very exciting emotional idiot. And a dreamboat who will absolutely break your heart.

I have, over time, developed a better relationship with the Knights—even Knight of Cups.

For one thing, I’ve stopped projecting my own disappointments and regrets onto these cards. I’ve started approaching them with the same sense of possibility and openness with which I approach (most of) the other cards in the deck. Queer Tarot has been particularly helpful in compelling me to reconsider how I think about gender. I guess this process has changed how I see age in Tarot, as well. Knight of Cups can be a middle-aged woman as easily as it can be a young man—and that’s maybe the first the first lesson this card has for me.

I suppose this was still resonating in my head when I watched a seven-year-old clip of Bridget Everett on The Tonight Show.

I’ve watched a truncated version of this clip before—one that’s mostly just her singing—and of course it’s amazing.1 What caught my attention in this extended cut was how she reacted to LL Cool J’s motto—“Dreams don’t have deadlines”—as a 42-year-old woman who was working as a waitress while also working to make her dreams happen—and by working, I mean working. She was not waiting around to be discovered. She was practicing her craft at karaoke nights. This is Knight of Cups energy plus effort.

I see the Hermit at work here, too.

You might not think “hermit” when you watch Bridget Everett perform, but if you’ve read my deep dive into this card, you know that it’s not just about hiding in your bedroom. It’s also about resilience, and self-knowledge, and the wisdom we gain from experience.

There are things I don’t love about getting older. (Duh.) And I suspect that I was projecting some of my sadness and regret onto Knight of Cups back when they used to just piss me off. There were things I had when I was 23 that I wish I had now. There were things I didn’t have at 23 and still mourn. But, in terms of craft, I could not do at 23 what I can do now. I had so much more reading to do, so much more writing to do, so much more learning to do. This is what I think about when I watch Bridget Everett do her thing.

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I have other thoughts, as well. I’ll leave you with another video. Singing is absolutely not one of my gifts, so I would never have the skill to do what Bridget Everett does here. But I do hope to grow into this level of confidence. May we all grow strong enough and bright enough and joyful enough to put on our Patti LuPone panties.2