Parenting through the Culture Wars

I took my son to see his endocrinologist this morning. This is the last time he will see this endocrinologist, because Ohio’s Republican-controlled legislature decided that they know better than doctors, mental healthcare professionals, and parents what’s best for transgender kids.

It is not hyperbole to say that gender-affirming care saved my child’s life. While Corvid and his doctor were talking about how far he’s come over the last several years, he said, “If you had told me when I was 12 that I would be alive now, I wouldn’t have believed you.” The doctor and I were fighting back tears throughout most of this visit.

HB 68 just passed in January. The doctor said that she spent a couple of weeks in denial, but now she’s scrambling to help her patients find new caregivers—including the patients whose families are leaving the state because of this law. We are very lucky in that my son has been on testosterone for a few years now and is doing well, and because we live in Michigan. But my heart is breaking for the kids who aren’t so lucky, and for families that can’t just pick up and move. And I worry about the trans adults in Ohio, because I know that it’s only a matter of time before conservatives come for them, too.

I know, obviously, that not everyone shares my views. For example, Kristina Roegner, a state senator from the county where my dad and grandma live—the county where I grew up—said during one hearing that “attempting to change someone’s sex is a fool’s errand.” I wonder how many trans people she consulted before arriving at this conclusion. Even if she has never talked to someone like my son, I know that she has heard from the doctors who care for these kids. I just don’t get what part of saving children’s lives is hard to understand. On her website, Roegner says that she “has a heart for servant leadership” and brings “a sense of humility and deep responsibility to her work.” Does she feel that it’s her responsibility to tell trans people that they don’t exist? Is it humble to second guess the American Medical Association, the American Academy of Pediatrics, the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry, and a couple dozen other healthcare organizations? Equality Ohio says that “585 people submitted testimony to lawmakers to reject these… HB 68 [since the bill] was introduced, compared to only approximately 40 supporters of the bill, many of whom were not from Ohio.” Who is this “servant leader” actually serving?

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I am sad and angry, but I refuse to despair. I will keep fighting for the trans kids in my own community, and I implore you to do the same. Stay engaged with state and local politics, because this is where just a few individuals working together can make a huge difference. I sit on the school board in a small blue dot surrounded by red, and my district passed a policy outlining the rights of trans students in a 6 – 1 vote. So, please. Be sad. Be angry. And then do something.