Mystery Box

When The Beauty Myth was published in 1991, I was a sophomore at a very liberal women’s college. I didn’t know it then, but I was on the leading edge of Third Wave Feminism becoming a thing. (hashtag riotgrrrl). This is to say that I was ready to buy what Naomi Wolf was selling. Over the ensuing decades, my relationship with Naomi Wolf has followed a trajectory that may be familiar to every human who transforms from a young person to an old person but seems to be something that hits Gen X over and over and over again. I’m talking about watching someone you trust and admire become a reactionary asshole. (There’s the separate matter of figuring out that Wolf is not a great scholar, something she learned, live, on the radio, during an interview that still haunts the dreams of many, many writers.)

I’m talking about Naomi Wolf because, in Doppelganger, Naomi Klein riffs on what it’s been like to be confused with Naomi Wolf. There apparently just isn’t enough room in the lefty intellectual stratosphere for two Naomis—even though, by the time Klein published No Logo, the OG Naomi had moved on to coaching Al Gore on presenting as an alpha male.

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I haven’t read Klein’s new book. It’s unlikely that I will read Klein’s new book (No shade. I just have a lot of books to read). But I have enjoyed a couple of reviews. The first is Amanda Marcotte’s piece for Democracy. The second is on If Books Could Kill.

Speaking of alpha males… This fucking guy.

I’ve been fangirling Heather Havrilesky since her Suck.com days, and I still find her indispensable. Her latest column is a lovely meditation on prayer. Here’s the bit that really grabbed me:

Non-believers like me see the word pray and we think it means “Ask some imaginary man in the sky for favors.” So we take “Pray more, worry less,” to mean “Get the big bossman upstairs to give you what you want like I did, and then maybe you won’t be such a stress case!”

But when you think of prayer as fostering a deep connection with everything that’s divine — which for me includes the natural world and other people and animals and all of the strange, invisible forces that you can sense without understanding them completely — those words change.

Read on at Ask Polly…

Did you read the recent Washington Post article on corporations looking for “anti-diet” street cred by enlisting dietician/influencers in their campaign to end food shaming? If you didn’t here’s a gift link. Anyhow, Virginia Sole-Smith has some thoughts, and she shares them over at Burnt Toast.

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Question for the collective: Do you want product reviews?

When I conceived of Croning, I was certain that I didn’t want to do any kind of product endorsements. But after Kate’s piece on vaginal atrophy (Issue 2, Spring 2024), I’m not so sure about this anymore.

The whole idea of “anti-aging” products is, of course, a quagmire. Many—if not most—of the interventions we’re encouraged to buy are straight bullshit. And we’re taught to treat every effect of aging as a symptom needing remedy. I do not want to participate in perpetuating these dynamics. On the other hand, if I find something that helps me address an effect of aging that bothers me, I want to tell other crones about it.

So… I thought I’d dip a toe by suggesting a couple of products that have worked for me and for crones I know. These are not paid endorsements. I have not received free product in exchange for a review. These are just a couple of things I’ve purchased that seem to be working for me. I hope it goes without saying that this is not medical advice, but I’m saying it anyway: This is not medical advice.

Parlor Games describes its Silky Peach Cream as “a bio-identical estriol cream to restore your aging lady bits.” I find just about every part of the previous sentence depressing. I do not love that this company is called “Parlor Games.” I don’t even understand it, really. When I think “parlor games” I think Charades and 20 Questions and trying to make this sexy takes me into creepy Victorian fetish territory. Maybe that’s just me! Anyway… It also took me awhile to come around to the idea of using something called “Silky Peach Cream.” However, as depressing as it might be, “aging lady bits” is just a fact of life, and that is why I finally bought this. And I’m glad I did! I can honestly report that my aging lady bits are a bit… livelier than they’ve been.

Bonafide’s Revaree is an insert that lubricates the vagina and vulva from the inside out. Its only ingredients are hyaluronic acid and glycerides. Hyaluronic acid is lubricant that our bodies produce. Whether or not this moisturizer is part of the slippery cocktail the Bartholin’s glands produce when we’re young and (ostensibly) fertile, I don’t know. Glycerides can be found in many lubes, but I understand that people who regularly get yeast infections may avoid this ingredient. All I can say is that I have Revaree to be a useful supplement.

What about you? Have you found anything that has helped to restore your libido and/or enhanced your capacity to enjoy sex? Have you tried something that was a total dud? If so, please share in the comments. And if you would like Croning to stay away from product reviews, I would like to know that, too. I am still ambivalent about this.

What I just read

Publisher, publicists, and journalists all seem to be leaning heavily on the “Satanic Panic” aspect of this book, which is a shame. People picking it up because of that hook are likely to be disappointed. And people who might be into this book might give it a pass because of that very limited focus.

Thrash has written YA bestsellers, none of which I have read. Rainbow Black is her first novel for adults, and it’s a weird ride. It’s a queer coming-of-age story. There’s murder, there’s mystery, and there’s bit of courtroom drama. The overarching narrative is wild, but Thrash makes it real with her beautifully crafted characters. NB: If you require likable protagonists, look elsewhere.

One more thing…

On April Fool’s Day, I finally busted out my Garbage Pal Kids deck and did a few readings. I was prepared for these cards to be a gag and for these readings to be just for funsies, but the artwork is weirdly beautiful, and the readings were actually pretty awesome. I don’t currently have plans to add this reading to my shop, but if you’re interested in a three-card Garbage Pal Kids reading, let me know!

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