Hey, how’s it going?

[Note: I have been working on this newsletter off and on for, like, a while. Just about everything here is ancient history in internet time. Enjoy!]

Hey, how’s it going? It’s been a minute, I know. I hope that you, like me, have been enjoying a chill, drama-free brat summer and are looking forward to a relaxing fall of hot cider, leaf peeping, and Halloween frivolity.

JK JK JK JK

I just started working as an organizer for Red Wine & Blue. My job is to get people to vote. Since I took this gig, there has been an assassination attempt on a former president and a current candidate, and the incumbent president has stepped aside to let his vice president run for the Oval Office. Also? The candidate who was almost assassinated picked a running mate who can’t stop talking about how much he hates childless people and loves Diet Mountain Dew.

What I’m saying is that it’s been a lot for all of us. Here are some of my thoughts about all that and notes on some other stuff that happened while this was all happening. Plus some more stuff about other stuff. Honestly, I’m just trying to get back into the newslettering game.

So, anyway, back to ol’ boy…

I don’t like to brag, but when it comes to hatin’ on this guy, I was an early adopter. I grew up in Northeastern Ohio, but my roots are all kinds of hillbilly, and this boy ain’t it—and even if he was, he’s still full of shit.

Over at my other Substack, I wrote about his legitimately scary religious views—views that are legitimately scary because his faith and politics are intertwined and, at their core, they are inimical to anyone who doesn’t share them. I’ve also been dunking on him at Witches for Kamala Harris, which was 100% inspired by swifties4kamala, which, as of this writing, has gained almost 49K followers with 26 posts (this one is my fave so far.) Although I’m taking this election quite seriously, I am enjoying this era of exuberant bitchiness ushered in by Harris’s rapid response team. Michelle Obama is a queen, but I really struggled with “When they go low, we go high.” Petty I can do.

But also? Trump and Co. are creepy and weird. They are weird and they are creepy. Abortion bans are dangerous. And the degree to which the abortion banners want information about and control over our bodies is creepy and weird. Bans on gender-affirming care are devastating. And the people who want to end access to gender-affirming care also want to know an awful lot about the bodies of student athletes and anyone who wants to transition and that is creepy and weird. Religious zealots ruin lives and, sometimes, whole societies. And, unless you’re an adherent to the faith, the rules and practices of high-control religions tend to look pretty creepy and weird. JD Vance is the whole creepy and weird package, and I find it invigorating to take a break from worrying about him as an existential threat to make fun of him for being a weird, creepy asshole and a self-owning meme machine.

Also, what’s up with Usha Vance?

I’m going to tread lightly here because she is not running to be Donald Trump’s vice president. However…

It’s weird—and kind of creepy?—to watch a smart, educated, accomplished, and clearly ambitious woman quit her job, put on a jewel-tone dress and heels, and make a pitch for her husband as Donald Trump’s second-in-command at the Republican National Convention.

I’m not interested in the intimate details of Usha and JD Vance’s marriage or family life. I find that I just really want to understand how this woman ended up here. Susan Matthews offers the most persuasive—and the simplest—take in a piece for Slate:

Usha Vance isn’t a mystery. She isn’t 2024’s version of Melania Trump from 2017, when we all wondered if an immigrant who looked pretty could also hold the toxic views of her husband (spoiler, she can). Usha Vance is ambitious too. That may be why she is willing to put her career on hold while her husband campaigns to be Trump’s VP. Because the politics aren’t what matters—it’s the power that matters. And second lady is a pretty impressive perch.

I feel like I should add that my sense that there’s some kind of mystery around a woman willing to support a regime or ideology that suborns women is a display of my own stubborn biases. I look at a woman like Usha Vance and assume a feminist perspective that just isn’t there. That’s on me.

Shannen Doherty Died

Apologies for the abrupt transition. I’m still processing this celebrity death—in large part because I am still not over the loss of Luke Perry, one of my Top 5 celebrity crushes of all time. But back to Shannen! What an iconic career! She became a regular part of my life on Beverly Hills 90210.

And, of coure, she was in Heathers, one of those 80s artifacts with which I have a complicated relationship because it was so very niche when it came out—I don’t think it played in theaters in my hometown—but now serves as generic Gen X signifier. I guess—now that I’m writing—that this happens to every generation: The culture that endures is not often the mainstream culture—and isn’t this what Heathers is, obliquely, about? Popular girls come and go. But even as a popular girl, Shannen Doherty couldn’t suppress her bad girl energy.

That’s probably all I have to say about Heathers, and nobody needs or wants to know what and how much 90210 meant to me because it’s all pretty basic. But here’s an insightful tribute from Rob Sheffield.

Also dead: Francine Pascal

I did not read Sweet Valley High books as a girl. The first installment came out in 1983, when I was just aging out of Judy Blume, et al. (By et al I probably just mean Paula Danziger, and by Paula Danziger I just mean The Cat Ate My Gymsuit and There’s a Bat in Bunk Five.) However, I do understand the impact Francine Pascal has had on generations of girls and on publishing. As Fiorella Valdesolo asks, would Baby-Sitters Club have existed without Sweet Valley High? What about Gossip Girl? And, I might add, would my beloved 90210 have come to be if Pascal hadn’t proven that selling melodrama to girls was as moneymaker?

I cannot imagine that this weird grab bag would inspire anyone to subscribe, but it would be cool if you did.